


eXXXementary

by Emma_Oz



Category: Elementary (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-02 00:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2793842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emma_Oz/pseuds/Emma_Oz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This fic is for chibideath in the Yuletide 2014.</p>
<p>This is a little, extra Yuletide treat.</p>
<p>In which Sherlock and Joan watch TV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	eXXXementary

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chibideath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibideath/gifts).



Sherlock waved a DVD at Joan. ‘It’s based on my cases,’ he said, ‘Well, really, it’s based on me.’

Joan raised an eyebrow. 

‘And you, of course.’ He inserted the disk. ‘Sit back and prepare to be amazed.’

The TV flickered and showed a tall figure with a shorter companion. ‘I see they’ve whitewashed me, ‘ Joan said, ‘What a surprise.’

‘Shhhh,’ said Sherlock. He leaned forward. ‘I want to hear the dialogue.’

The onscreen characters discussed Holmes’ brilliant deduction that the killer had been wearing a raincoat. ‘It’s the Abbot case,’ Sherlock said.

Joan peered at the screen. Not only was the woman playing her a blonde, she also sported improbable breasts. She snorted.

The TV now showed Holmes’ house, larger and certainly cleaner than his actual place. The Holmes character slumped on a white leather couch, his knees splayed. ‘That was a near run thing,’ he intoned.

The Watson character slipped off her coat. Underneath she wore a short scarlet dress. Joan snorted again and took a sip of her drink.

‘Thank goodness you were there,’ she said throatily, ‘What would we have done without your enormous talent?’

‘Do you know what else is enormous, baby?’ Holmes said. His hand dropped to his crotch.

Joan lunged for the remote control but Sherlock had seized it first. He jabbed at the off button frantically as onscreen Watson slid to her knees. ‘My eyes!’ he shouted, ‘I’ve gone blind defensively!’

‘No!’ shrieked Joan. She grabbed the DVD cover. ‘How could you not realise they made a porno about you? About us!’

She brandished the cover. ‘It’s X rated!’

Sherlock was uncharacteristically abashed. ‘Now you point it out, the deduction seems obvious.’

Joan gave in to the temptation to throw the DVD cover at his head. ‘To one of your enormous talent? Really?’

Sherlock pointed to the title of the DVD. ‘Like the DVD says, it’s eXXXementary.’


End file.
